If you don’t know exactly what you want, clearly enough to visualize it in your mind, then how exactly do you think you’re going to be able to manifest and step into that reality?
If you’re new here, this is Part 3 of a 4-part series where I walk you step-by-step through the process I used to create my dream life that I love waking up to every day. Make sure you read Part 1 and Part 2 of this series first so that you have the right foundation and then come back here.
Ok, so you’ve Made Big Space, you’ve Gotten Real, and now you’re ready to envision your dreams. There are 3 steps to this part:
- Getting clear on what you actually want in life
- Strongly manifesting that reality
- Taking the right actions towards your dreams
Step 1: Be really honest about what you actually want in life.
You need to dig deeper, below the surface of what you think you want, and get into the heart of things.
Here’s an example of what I mean. I used to think I wanted to be a high-powered girl boss. I would see these pictures online of these chic women in stylish suits flying around the world, working in skyscrapers with amazing views. They always looked so well-polished, they ate at fancy restaurants and they made travel and #girlboss life look so fun and glamorous.
And I would sit there, with my chipped nail polish, my hair in a ponytail, my comfy clothes and my less than perfect skin, in my unglamorous office and think, wow, if I could just be a #girlboss, I’d be happy.
But then, I started to question that narrative. I’ve lived the travel life, back when I was consulting for Fortune 100 and 500 companies. I’ve worked on multiple continents and spent a lot of time in fancy restaurants. And honestly, the jet-set life was exhausting. So, I started to ask myself, what is it about #girlboss life that I actually want?
And I realized that I didn’t actually want to be an on-the-go #girlboss. I actually just wanted to successfully run my own business, set my own schedule, and do work that matters in the world. I didn’t want to wear stylish suits and spend a lot of time on airplanes.
I wanted to wake up somewhere beautiful, with someone I loved, work a sustainable amount, and enjoy living my life without worrying about work the rest of the time. Once I got really clear on what I wanted, I was able to successfully create that reality, no manicure required.
So, here are a few questions you can use to start to dig into your own dreams and desires and get clear on what you actually want, not just what you think you want.
- Ask yourself: If I had 1 year to live, how would I spend my time?
- Consider what’s most natural to you. Can you remember a day when you were happy and at peace? What were you doing?
- Remember, you can’t do EVERYTHING in life. If you have to choose just one direction, which direction FEELS the most aligned in your body?
- Get clear on your WHY. This should be tied in with your self-identity work from Part 2. (We also dig deep into this inside the Hustle + Flow community)
This process might take some time, and that’s ok. It’s important that you get this down, because on the hard days (and there are always hard days in life), having a really clear, solid, rooted direction and reason why is what’s going to keep you going.
For perspective, it took me almost two years from the time that I started thinking about changing my life to the time that I felt that I had this down 100%. The good news is, your journey doesn’t have to take that long unless you want it to. I personally wish I would have been less stubborn and hired a coach or mentor to help me get there faster and with fewer detours along the way. But, now you get to learn from my journey, so I can’t really regret it.
Ok, so you’re clear on your direction.
Step 2: Manifest that reality.
Manifestation is a whole topic on it’s own, but a few key principles of manifestation are:
- Paint a really clear, detailed picture of your dream reality (vision boards are great here)
- Believe strongly in your ability to get there (this ties back to self-identity)
- Take the actions that lead you to where you want to go
- Focus on the essence of what you’re manifesting
- Practice non-attachment
- Use your logic and your intuition together (you have both of them for a reason)
Here’s an example of how I used manifestation to create my own dream life. A year ago, I was stuck in a career I no longer loved. I was living in a city that wasn’t a good fit for me, I didn’t like my living situation, and I was just tired of living a life that didn’t align with who I was on the inside. I looked ahead 5 years and I felt a sense of dread.
So, after I got clear on what I actually wanted, I wrote down what I wanted my future life to look like, created a vision board and started visualizing and meditating on that dream life every day until I had a really solid picture of it in my mind and believed that I could step into it. Then, I started doing the things every day that my dream self would do.
The result? A year later, I’m doing work I love, I met the partner I’ve been waiting many years for, I live in paradise, and most importantly, I’m at peace, happy, and I wake up feeling good about what my days will hold.
But, it wasn’t just getting clear on what I wanted and manifesting my future that got me here. I also had to do step 3.
Step 3: Take the right actions.
I wanted to talk about this as a separate step because a lot of times, we think we’re taking action towards our dreams, but we’re actually not doing the right things. And until you start doing the right things, you won’t get to where you want to go.
Here’s an example: I used to waste a lot of time in my business doing things that weren’t aligned with who I am, that were not my strongest skills, and that I hated. For example, I spent way too much time trying to create a color palette and website, because I didn’t want to spend the money. The results: dismal. When I started stepping more into the role of a teacher and guide, which is what my aspirational self does, I realized I needed to hire someone to do the website and the colors. And now I have branding that I love, and I’m spending more time actually helping people.
So, you have to figure out what those “right things” are for you and your dream self and then do those things every day. Some questions to ask:
- What is going to move the needle the most?
- What is the best use of my limited time, attention, and energy?
- What feels most aligned and “right”?
We’ve now covered the three key steps to envision your dreams.
- First, get clear on what you actually want in life.
- Second, manifest that reality.
- Third, take the right actions.
I hope you found this inspirational and actionable. In part 4, we’ll learn about how to guarantee your success and wrap up this series. If you’re not subscribed, make sure you go ahead and sign up, because in Part 4, I’ll be sharing how to guarantee your success. We all have good intentions, but most people don’t follow through. Part 4 is going to make sure you have the tools to follow through and actually get to your dreams, so don’t miss it!
