When I stopped trying to be what I thought everyone else wanted me to be, I became free to actually grow into the happiest version of myself, and you have the power to do the same.
This is Part 2 of a 4-part series where I walk you step-by-step through the process I used to create my dream life that I love waking up to every day. If you missed Part 1, read that first, and then come back here.
Most of us have spent our whole lives doing things because we were supposed to, because we thought we should, or because we simply didn’t have other choices. But you’re at a place now, as an independent adult, that you DO have choices. And you get to decide who you are, what’s important to you, and what kind of life you actually want to live.
You’ve probably heard the phrase, “A completely different life is just one decision away.” But no matter how many changes you make in your life (getting a new job, moving to a new city, taking another vacation, starting a new hobby), until you turn inward and get real with yourself, you’ll never find the peace and happiness that you crave. Something will always be missing.
You might be thinking: I know who I am, it’s just all the external stuff that’s the problem.But are you really living as your most empowered, authentic, self? I don’t think you are or you wouldn’t be here reading this.
Let me give you an example of what I mean. I used to drink a lot of lattes. But, I’ve never actually liked them all that much. I drank lattes because my friends did and because it was an easy order and I was afraid to ask for something else for fear of being “too much” or “too complicated”. I didn’t take the time to ask myself what I actually preferred because I thought I was SUPPOSED to like lattes. So, I just tried to like them more, instead of ordering a mocha, which is what I actually like to drink most of the time.
Maybe it sounds silly, but think about it…Where in your life are you shrinking yourself, not asking for what you need and want, tolerating things you don’t actually enjoy, and generally just not allowing yourself to be the most authentic version of you?
An important part of creating your dream life is stepping more into your most authentic self-identity. This is challenging for a lot of us because we’ve never taken the time to find out what we really need, want, and enjoy in life. We’ve been operating in the realm of “should”, “could”, and “have to”. And what we really need is to Get Real with ourselves and start to honor our inner selves.
Because once you do this self-identity work, you can stop doing things because you “should”, and you can start doing things because you choose to and because that choice is aligned with who you want to be. Once you’re operating from a place of deep internal alignment, creating your dream life starts to become easier because you know what you actually want and need in life. You know what decisions to make, you know what steps will get you to where you want to go, and you find it easier to take these steps.
Let me be really transparent with you.
It’s not easy to face the parts of ourselves that we’ve been ignoring, hiding from, or haven’t been allowed to express. It takes courage. But there is no promise of “easy” in life. Sometimes things are hard to do, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t worth doing. And you don’t have to do them alone.
You are worth investing in. You’ve faced difficulties and struggles in your life in the past and you did what you had to do to get through it. But sometimes, the things we have to do to survive, to cope, to make it through, also make us a little bit hardened, numb, and unable to fully express the softer, more delicate parts of ourselves. Sometimes we become who we HAVE to be, not who we WANT to be.
Whatever you’re doing right now to numb out, to cope, to distract yourself from the fact that you’re not living authentically to who you are, it’s time to face it. It’s time to reclaim those parts of yourself that you had to hide or downplay in order to survive. It’s time to get real, so that you can create the life you’ve always dreamed of.
The strongest people are not the ones who feel the least, who have the strongest walls, who just keep pushing through, no matter the personal cost. The strongest ones are those who:
- Fully experience and acknowledge their current reality, even when it’s hard
- Are willing to forgive themselves for their past mistakes, so they can move forward
- Have the courage to make changes to their outer world, to allow their inner selves to be at peace
You have that courage and that capacity, you just have to unlock it. To do that, you have to go deep within. This is why we Made Big Space, so that you have the energy, attention, and time to start figuring out what parts of your self-identity you want to keep and which parts no longer serve you. This is the time to start assessing your life and deciding what activities, relationships, circumstances, beliefs, and mindsets you want to keep.
We all come with presets: ideas and beliefs about ourselves and the world around us that we have absorbed from our environments and the people in our lives. You also have a set of habits and routines that you do every day. And not all of those things are valuable.
This is important to understand because there is something in your life right now, a mindset, belief, attitude, or habit, that is keeping you from living your dream life. And if you want to create your dreams, you have to first become the version of yourself that actually lives that life every day.
So, this is the time to get real with yourself, decide what you want to keep from your current reality, gently let go of the rest, and decide what the happiest, most authentic version of you looks like. Then start acting like that version of yourself. This is how you step into a new reality. I can’t wait to see who you become in this next chapter!
In part 3, I’ll be sharing how to clearly visualize your dreams and create a plan to get there. If you miss this step, you will waste a lot of time going down side trails, when you could have just gone straight towards your dreams, so if you’re not subscribed, make sure you go ahead and sign up.
